Amanda's Blog

A recap of our AMAZING vacation to Italy last month wouldn’t be complete without a recap of the horror that was trying to get our (Tony and my) passports for the trip. Let this serve as a warning to all!

You need more than 2 months to get your passport. A LOT more. The standard used to be 6 - 8 weeks. Fill out your paperwork, give them all the proper documentation – less then 2 months later, you get your passport in the mail and everyone’s happy. However with the new passport laws passed last December, anyone traveling to Mexico or Canada by air now needs a passport. Therefore, practically everyone going on vacation this summer is scrambling to get his or her passports last minute. And apparently EVERYONE in the US is trying to get out. Passports are taking up to 14 weeks, if you’re lucky. The post office is now telling people that the expedited passports are taking 7 – 10 weeks!!

If only Tony and I would have known this in February.

We thought, wow, we have 12 weeks! We'll be fine!! Nope. 4 weeks before the trip, when we didn't have them, I started to panic. News reports started coming in that people were canceling flights, losing money on vacations, and passports were taking a lot longer than expected. So I called the number on the website. It, very strictly told me, "UNLESS YOUR TRIP IS WITHIN TWO WEEKS, DO NOT CALL US." So, like a naive fool, I waited. Two weeks before the trip I called again. "UNLESS YOUR TRIP IS WITHIN TWO WEEKS, DO NOT CALL US. Press 3 if it is within two weeks." I press 3. "Press 1 if you have all your information ready." I press 1. Then the automated system (that f'n bastard) hung up on me. It simply said "We are too busy to take your call. Goodbye." I was SHOCKED. My sisters hang up on me all the time. Friends, sometimes. But never an automated system. Maybe it's an error, I think. So I call back. I press 1 for English, 3, then 1 again… and "goodbye" click. Wow. No you dinnn't. I call again. Then 20 more times. FINALLY, it clicks through and starts to ring. YES, RESULT! However, it's now ringing to put me on hold. For 45 minutes. Ok, that's fine, whatever. Just give me my passport.

If only it were that easy. The number I'm calling is only an answering service helping the passport agency out since they are too busy to answer their phones. A super nice answering service, but just an answering service. They find our passports in the system. They are being "processed", but there is no way to tell if we'll get them on time. They kindly "flag" our passports and say that we need them expedited to us for our trip. But that's all they can do. They can't talk to the passport people. They can't give us any other info. But we are welcome to call back in a few days. Which I do. 20 tries and 45 hold minutes later, a nice lady tells me that there is no progress on the passports but, they have acknowledged our request. Two days later, I call again. No progress. This time someone flags them again and tells them to complete my passport with Tony's and send them together.

I must have called over 20 times. By one week before the trip, I was calling morning, noon and night for status updates. They all told me the same thing – they saw no progress on our passports, and we should try to get an appointment at the Houston office. There they could get us our passport that same day. We called the number for appointments repeatedly and they hung up on us repeatedly. When we finally did get through, the automated system told us the first available apt is not until June and then hung up. We figured, if our best bet is to show up there on Thursday and beg, plead, and offer first born children, we'd risk it. We had to. There was no other choice.

Wednesday before our trip (2 days left) I call, holding my breath for the entire 45 minutes on hold (metaphorically speaking of course) and they say – "oh, they've completed Tony's. Here's his tracking info. It should be there tomorrow." They didn't complete mine (the person doing the calling, ok Tony called some too, but I called a LOT) but they completed Tony's. I was livid.

Poor sweet Tony was so sympathetic. And Wednesday night off we go to Houston.

We got to the building at 7 am, an hour before they open, and we were in the SECOND group of 50 to be allowed up. We were amazed at the amount of people there. Hundreds. It was a mad house. We stood in lines for 2 ½ hours before we got a number to be called. We waited 3 more hours before they called my name. All the time listening to horror stories of people who'd been there for two days trying to get their passport and people who were canceling flights and trips -- it was insane. The tension was too much and I was fighting with Tony for no good reason. Finally, at 12:45 they called me up. It was going to be another $97 fee and "oventually" they would refund my first payment. "Oventually" the guy stressed to me. I waited, this time holding my breath for real, to see if I could get mine today. He said, "Yes, come back at 3:30." I'm still not 100% convinced.

3:30 arrives and we're back. People are everywhere. The police, trying to keep some order, are herding us around like sheep telling us to stop asking questions and to fill out this sheet if we are there to pick up our passports. We fill them out and hand them in. Then they take them up. One officer tells a group of people "you are not getting your passports today. Go home. Come back tomorrow." Then I really start to panic. Then another officer comes by and says, "This doesn't mean you guys." And I'm thinking 'I've never seen you before!! How do you know who this means and who it doesn't mean?? What's happening? I need a zanax!! If Tony could have, he'd have given me two.

Finally, a lady comes down and takes us to a different room and starts calling names. We hold our breath again. We cross every finger we can. And finally "Amanda Velasquez".

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I can't believe I just got it. I'm literally too stunned and exhausted to be excited. I just can't believe it.

We drive the 5 hours back home and I start to loosen up. The 3 bags of chips, 2 pickles, twizzlers, diet cokes, and several other horrible junk food items (that I'd rather not mention) that Tony and I scarfed on the way totally helped.

When we got there, Tony's passport was under the doormat. And we were going on vacation to ITALY!!!!!!!